DAfree Newsletter

📹 When Control is Subtle: Coercive Power, Media, and Awareness in THE HOUSEMAID (2025) 

This week, we examine how coercive control is portrayed in modern media through the 2025 psychological thriller The Housemaid, and why representations like this matter in shaping public understanding of domestic abuse.

The Housemaid does not rely on constant physical violence to communicate harm. Instead, it focuses on psychological dominance, manipulation, fear, and dependency within a domestic setting. Control is exercised quietly and incrementally through emotional pressure, blurred boundaries, isolation, and an imbalance of power that tightens over time. These are the very dynamics that often go unnoticed in real life, both by those experiencing them and by those observing from the outside.

What makes the 2025 adaptation particularly impactful is its familiarity. The environments, relationships, and social contexts feel recognisable. The abuse portrayed is not immediately obvious or extreme; it is layered, subtle, and often disguised as care, concern, or authority. This reflects the lived experiences of many survivors, who describe abuse not as a single moment of harm, but as a gradual erosion of autonomy and safety.

At DAfree, we often speak about the need to move beyond narrow definitions of domestic abuse. Coercive control rarely begins with visible violence. It starts with monitoring, restriction, emotional manipulation, or financial dependence, of which these behaviours can be minimised, rationalised, or misunderstood until the situation escalates. The Housemaid captures this progression, showing how silence, fear, and power can trap individuals long before anyone labels the behaviour as abuse. Alongside this, it highlights the difficulty of reporting such abuse, with the vulnerable partner being labelled and depicted as crazy or unfit.

Media plays a crucial role in shaping how society understands abuse. Films like The Housemaid help create AWARERS, people who are better equipped to recognise harmful patterns, question normalised behaviour, and identify red flags in both their own lives and the lives of others. Awareness is not only about knowledge; it is about perception. When stories reflect the realities of coercive control, they challenge audiences to rethink what abuse looks like and where it can exist.

For many people, media is the first point of contact with these concepts. A film can provide language for experiences that felt confusing or isolating. It can prompt reflection, conversations, and, in some cases, early intervention. While media alone cannot prevent abuse, it can shift cultural understanding, reduce stigma, and encourage people to trust their instincts when something feels wrong.

However, this also places responsibility on storytelling. Accurate, nuanced portrayals matter. When coercive control is shown as complex and damaging rather than sensational or romanticised it contributes to a more informed and compassionate society.

At DAfree, our mission is not only to support ‘survivors’ but to build a wider community of people who are aware, informed, and willing to challenge harmful dynamics. Media that reflects the realities of abuse plays a vital role in that work.

How effective do you think films like The Housemaid (2025) are in creating AWARERS and what harms can come from inaccurate portrayals?

Please let us know your thoughts.

Join Our Community & Mission

For those of you who haven’t yet joined out Skool Community, we welcome you to join, where learning, connection, and conversation continue beyond the newsletter. Together, we can amplify voices, share knowledge, and support one another in becoming more awarer: Join DAfree

Awareness changes everything.

🪶 Join the conversation. Join the mission.

Selina
Head of Communications & Relations, DAfree

📩 dafree@dafree.org
🌍 www.dafree.org
📲 +44 7301 940852

📰 Changing the Story: Can Police-Led Campaigns Shift Domestic Abuse Awareness?

Across parts of the UK,  though not yet on a nationally consistent basis, some police authorities have begun implementing domestic abuse awareness initiatives under the banner “Change the Story.”.These campaigns aim to challenge harmful narratives around abuse, encourage early recognition of coercive and controlling behaviours, and prompt both victims and perpetrators to reflect before harm escalates.

At its core, Change the Story seeks to reframe domestic abuse not as isolated incidents, but as patterns of behaviour that are often normalised, minimised, or misunderstood. The campaign's message typically highlights warning signs, promotes accountability, and directs individuals to support services. In theory, this represents a shift away from purely reactive policing and toward prevention and education.

There is clear value in police forces publicly acknowledging that domestic abuse is not only physical violence, but also includes coercive control, emotional harm, financial abuse, and psychological manipulation. Campaigns like this can:

• Increase public awareness of non-physical forms of abuse
• Encourage earlier intervention, particularly from bystanders, friends, and family
• Challenge cultural narratives that excuse or minimise abusive behaviour
• Signal that abuse is taken seriously by institutions with authority
  
  

For some survivors, seeing domestic abuse discussed openly by police may validate experiences that were previously dismissed or difficult to articulate. For others, it may offer language they lacked to describe their lived experiences. 

Where challenges remain

Awareness campaigns alone cannot carry the weight of systemic change. Without consistent actions combatting abuse, there is a risk that initiatives like Change the Story remain symbolic rather than transformative, causing key concerns to include:

• Trust gaps between survivors and institutions
• Limited reach, with campaigns often regional or short-term
• Lack of survivor-led framing in public messaging
• Unclear measures of impact on long-term safety and prevention

Changing the narrative around domestic abuse requires more than messaging. It requires sustained education, survivor-informed policy, accessible support services, and accountability at every level.

Narratives shape behaviour. When abuse is framed as rare, mutual, or provoked, it thrives in silence. When it is recognised as patterned, and preventable, intervention becomes possible. Campaigns like Change the Story can be a starting point but they must be part of a wider, coordinated commitment to prevention, protection, and justice.

At DAfree, we believe awareness must always be paired with action. Education must be ongoing. And those with lived experiences of abuse, must remain at the centre of every conversation not as case studies, but as voices shaping the future.

So the question remains: What would meaningful prevention look like if survivors, educators, and communities were placed at the centre of domestic abuse awareness,  rather than relying on short-term campaigns alone?

Join Our Community & Mission

For those of you who haven’t yet joined out Skool Community, we welcome you to join, where learning, connection, and conversation continue beyond the newsletter. Together, we can amplify voices, share knowledge, and support one another in becoming more awarer: Join DAfree

Awareness changes everything.

🪶 Join the conversation. Join the mission.

Selina
Head of Communications & Relations, DAfree

📩 dafree@dafree.org
🌍 www.dafree.org
📲 +44 7301 940852

#EndOfYearEdition

As we close the year, this newsletter is a moment of reflection on what we’ve built at DAfree since August, the awareness we have grown together, and the intentions we’ll carry into the year ahead.

Since our formation in August, we set off with a clear purpose: to raise awareness, prevent domestic abuse, and break cycles that continue through silence and misunderstanding.

🌱 DAfree Since August: Building with Intention

In just a few months, DAfree has grown from concept to community.

We are now CPD approved, delivering educational courses that explore the intricacies of domestic abuse, including violence, coercive control, and the less visible patterns that are often overlooked or minimised. Alongside this, we have attended Skool and networking events, launched our Skool community, committed to biweekly newsletters, and expanded our social media.

Our community has grown to 200+ members worldwide, connecting individuals across borders, professions, and lived experiences. Each connection reinforces a shared truth: abuse cannot be challenged unless it is first recognised.

📢 Visibility, Voices & Awareness

This year, visibility has been central to our work. Through social media and community spaces, we have focused on ensuring that conversations around domestic abuse are present, ongoing, and accessible.

Domestic abuse remains widely unacknowledged. In turn, harmful cycles continue in many forms, from physical violence to coercive control, across family life, schools, courts, and legislation. Misunderstanding and silence allow these patterns to persist.

At DAfree, awareness is preventative. Awareness gives language to harm, challenges harmful norms, and empowers individuals to recognise abuse before it continues or escalates.

🔁 From Unaware to AWARER

At the heart of DAfree is a concept that defines our mission and sets us apart: AWARER.

Rather than limiting people to labels such as victim or survivor, we focus on awareness as a journey moving from unawarer to awarer. Awareness is the foundation of empowerment, boundary-setting, and rebuilding.

To be an awarer is to acknowledge harm, ask questions, respond with intention, and rebuild with clarity. This framework applies not only to individuals, but to communities and systems alike. Awareness changes how we see and how we respond, and is how cycles are broken.

👕 Merch with Meaning

This year also marked the launch of DAfree merchandise, created with intention, care, and purpose. Our designs are not simply products, but symbols of awareness, reflection, and shared responsibility. Each piece is designed to spark conversation, invite curiosity, and gently challenge the silence that allows domestic abuse to persist.

Wearing or sharing DAfree merch is a visible act, representing a commitment to learning, recognising harm in its many forms, and standing against cycles of abuse that thrive on misunderstanding and minimisation. These pieces are part of our wider mission to bring awareness into everyday spaces, homes, workplaces, communities, where conversations can begin and understanding can grow.

Every design reflects DAfree’s core values: education, empowerment, and social impact. All proceeds are reinvested directly into our community initiatives, outreach, and educational work, ensuring that awareness continues to drive meaningful, lasting change.

🌍 Looking Ahead to the New Year

As we move into the new year, our intentions remain open and hopeful. We aim to continue growing our community, expand awareness, and support people in their day-to-day lives to recognise and end cycles of abuse.

The year ahead holds many opportunities. We hope DAfree continues to grow alongside you and our shared commitment to awareness, safety, and change.

Now a moment for reflection, if you’re happy to share please let us know:

What does awareness mean to you and how will you carry it forward into the new year?

🤝 Join Our Community & Mission

For those of you who haven’t yet joined out Skool Community, we welcome you to join, where learning, connection, and conversation continue beyond the newsletter. Together, we can amplify voices, share knowledge, and support one another in becoming more awarer.

As the new year begins, we invite you to join us in raising awareness, inspiring action, and helping break the cycle of abuse.

Every life matters. Awareness changes everything.

🪶 Join the conversation. Join the mission.

Selina
Head of Communications & Relations, DAfree

📩 dafree@dafree.org
🌍 www.dafree.org
📲 +44 7301 940852

✨ DAfree December Newsletter

Silent Struggles During December Festivities: Standing Together This Season

As December arrives and homes across the country begin to glow with lights, music, and celebration, it’s important to remember that this time of year does not bring joy to everyone. For many living with domestic abuse, the festive season creates added pressure, isolation, and danger behind closed doors.

At DAfree, we believe in breaking the silence, especially at a time when many feel unable to speak up.

🎄 The Festive Season: A Time of Increased Risk

While society often paints December as a month of family unity and warmth, the reality for many is starkly different. Across the UK, domestic abuse services consistently report a rise in incidents around Christmas:

• Organisations such as Woman’s Aid in 2024 observed a 15–20% increase in domestic abuse reports over the festive period.
• Heightened financial strain, increased alcohol consumption, and more time spent at home all contribute to an environment where abusive behaviours can escalate.
• Many survivors become more isolated as regular support systems such as workplaces, schools, social routines are temporarily shut down.
  

These figures remind us why awareness and community support are crucial this month.

💔 Behind the Statistics Are Real Lives

For some, December means managing fear instead of festivities. It means carefully navigating conversations, monitoring the behaviour of partners, protecting children, or silently enduring days that are supposed to feel magical. No one should have to face abuse in any season and certainly not alone.

🌟 Hope Lives in Community And We’re Building One

DAfree exists because no survivor should ever feel isolated, unheard, or unseen. We are expanding our supportive community, and we’re inviting you, our readers, partners, allies, and supporters, to be part of it.

Whether you’ve experienced abuse yourself, know someone who has, or simply believe in creating safer households and stronger support networks, your voice matters.

Our community brings people together to:

• Offer encouragement and solidarity
• Become an AWARER by learning about abuse, safety planning, and support pathways
• Share lived experiences (only if you choose to)
• Participate in events, workshops, and awareness campaigns
• Abolish unhealthy and toxic cycles of domestic abuse
  
  

🤝 We’re Asking: Will You Join Us?

Your involvement, big or small, can change lives.

👉 Join our DAfree community

https://www.skool.com/dafree-community-8200/about?ref=a64a724ff9254d71957328dd514d4507

👉 Recommend us to someone who may need a safe space

👉 Become part of a movement working to reduce harm and raise awareness

Together, we can make sure that even in the darkest months, people know they are not alone.

📞 If You Need Support

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse this season, please reach out. Support is confidential, judgment-free, and available.

DAfree Contact:
📲 +44 7301 940852 | 📧support@dafree.org

National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247 (24/7)

💬 Final Words

This December, while many celebrate, let’s remember those who cannot. 

Thank you for being part of this journey with us.

Selina
Head of Communications & Relations, DAfree

📩 dafree@dafree.org
🌍 www.dafree.org
📲 +44 7301 940852

Good Mothers, Bad Systems: Unpacking Family Court Failures in the UK

This week’s newsletter reflects on insights from a recent event, where we heard an insightful lecture from Professor Shazia Choudhry, lead researcher of The Family Justice Response to Domestic Abuse, a six-country study examining how family courts handle domestic abuse cases.

Although her research spans multiple European jurisdictions, the findings resonate deeply within the UK’s context, especially when compared to the promises of the Domestic Abuse Act (2021). Today, we explore where progress has been made and where gaps remain between legislation and lived reality.

🔍 What the Research Reveals

Professor Choudhry’s study found strikingly consistent patterns across the six countries examined, including England & Wales. Despite cultural differences, survivors’ experiences shared several common themes:

⚠️ Abuse Is Minimised as “Conflict”

Across jurisdictions, professionals frequently reframed domestic abuse as mere “relationship conflict.” In England & Wales, pre-separation abuse was often dismissed as “historical,” even though separation is widely recognised as a period of heightened risk.

👩‍👧 The Burden on Mothers

The research found a persistent double standard: mothers were expected to be endlessly cooperative, perfectly protective, and consistently responsible for maintaining the father–child relationship. As well as this, women were often judged on their appearance, with examples of being conscious not to appear as put together and attractive to increase their chances of being believed by the courts of the abuse which took place.

Many survivors described feeling punished when they prioritised safety, labelled as hostile or uncooperative for resisting unsafe contact.

This “good mother” ideal, deeply rooted in patriarchy, often overshadows evidence of abuse.

🧒 Children’s Safety Overlooked

Although stakeholders acknowledged that domestic abuse harms children, the courts’ primary focus remained on maintaining paternal contact at all costs, treating domestic abuse as separate from child welfare rather than central to it.

🧠 Parental Alienation Concerns

The study found widespread use of “parental alienation” logic, often used to undermine mothers’ safety concerns, even where its scientific validity is widely contested as well as its widespread ban of being referenced in courts. Parental Alienation, is a term which places the blame on one parent who was at the hands of abuse, often the mother, for the alienation and separation implaced on the abuser and their child. Though sometimes avoided by name, the underlying assumptions still persist and impact cases within family courts internationally.

💔 Survivors’ Experiences of the System

Survivors across the study described feeling dismissed, disbelieved, or emotionally bullied, often by court-appointed experts whose reports carry enormous power despite concerns around training and expertise. Many felt the court process caused deeper trauma than the abuse itself.

🇬🇧 The UK’s Domestic Abuse Act (2021): Progress & Limitations

The Domestic Abuse Act marked a significant milestone in UK legislation. Its key achievements include:

• A statutory definition recognising coercive control, emotional abuse, and economic abuse.
• Children are recognised as victims in their own right.
• Establishment of a Domestic Abuse Commissioner.
• A ban on cross-examination by perpetrators in family courts.
• Expanded special measures for survivors giving evidence.
  

These changes represent real legislative progress, yet, as Professor Choudhry’s research shows, legislation doesn’t automatically transform day-to-day practice.

❗Where Law and Reality Diverge

Despite the Act’s intentions:

• Survivors in England & Wales still experienced minimisation of abuse.
• Children’s exposure to abuse was still sidelined during contact decisions.
• Parental alienation rhetoric continued to override safety concerns.
• Court-appointed experts often lacked updated domestic abuse training.
• Mothers continued to bear disproportionate responsibility for managing risk.
  

In short, while the Act provides stronger legal tools, implementation remains patchy and inconsistent, particularly in the family court system.

⚖️ Why the Disconnect?

Legislation can open the door to change, but culture determines whether that door stays open.

Choudhry’s findings highlight that systemic attitudes of disbelief toward survivors, gender stereotypes, and a contact-at-all-costs mindset persist even after legal reforms. Many of these patterns mirror concerns raised by UK survivors long after the 2021 Act came into force.

Just as Switzerland’s federal structure creates regional inconsistencies (as we explored in Issue 3), the UK’s family court system struggles under resource shortages, uneven training, and overstretched professionals. These structural gaps mean legislation alone isn’t enough to guarantee safety.

🌍 Awareness Is Protection

At DAfree, we believe awareness is as vital as legislation. Professor Choudhry’s research reminds us that:

• Survivors’ voices must be centred.
• Children’s safety must be treated as non-negotiable.
• Gender stereotyping has no place in safeguarding decisions.
• Policies must be backed by resourcing, training, and cultural change.
  

Domestic abuse is not just a legal problem, it is a societal one. Laws set the foundation, but awareness, empathy, and accountability allow for meaningful protection and prevention.

⭐️Join the Conversation
To explore this study further, click the link below:
👉https://www.law.ox.ac.uk/the-family-justice-response-to-domestic-abuse-report

How do we build a family court system that truly centres safety?

We’d love to hear your thoughts.

Selina
Head of Communications & Relations, DAfree

📩 dafree@dafree.org
🌍 www.dafree.org
📲 +44 7301 940852

DAfree’s Red Flag Checker - 

Technology’s Role in: Awareness and Prevention

Welcome to our fourth newsletter! Today we’ll be exploring the role of technology in prevention and awareness of domestic abuse, in light of our most recent implementation of our Red Flag Checker. 

🚩Check Out Our Red Flag Checker

As we know, domestic abuse doesn’t always look like bruises or shouting. It can begin with subtle behaviours, including controlling language, jealousy disguised as “care,” constant check-ins, or financial control, all behaviours of Coercive Control. Many people don’t recognise these as red flags until the relationship becomes dangerous.

To change that, DAfree has launched a new tool: 

The Red Flag Checker

designed to help people identify warning signs early.

How the Red Flag Checker Helps

The Red Flag Checker is a private, online assessment that helps individuals recognise red flags and toxic behaviours by analysing real-life scenarios. It offers:

• Immediate insight into unhealthy patterns
• Language to describe what someone may be experiencing, where they are not able to express themselves. People often struggle to explain what’s wrong by turning feelings such as “something feels off” into phrases like: controlling behaviour, coercive control, emotional manipulation, gaslighting
• Resources and guidance if red flags are identified
• A safe, non-judgmental space to reflect on a relationship
  
  

The first step toward safety is simply recognising that something isn’t right.

Technology is Changing Domestic Abuse Prevention

Digital tools are opening new pathways to safety and awareness:

• Anonymous self-assessments
  They help people recognise gaslighting, coercive control, or emotional manipulation, even when there are no physical signs.
• Discreet support apps
  Some apps allow victims to journal incidents, create safety plans, or contact help as they may feel they have no one around to turn to.
• Online education and awareness
  Social media, campaigns, and digital communities are giving survivors a voice and breaking myths about what abuse “looks like.”

Technology drives the mission of awareness in so many ways, in turn fueling prevention.

But We Must Also Talk About the Risks

Whenever technology is used in something as sensitive as domestic abuse, there are dangers we cannot ignore.

1. Safety & privacy

Abusers often monitor phones and devices. If tools aren’t discreet and encrypted, usage could be discovered and put someone in more danger.

2. Misinterpretation or false reassurance

AI can misunderstand context. A tool might say “everything looks normal” when it isn’t, or label a non-abusive situation incorrectly. Human support is still essential.

3. Bias

If AI systems are trained on limited data, they may struggle to recognise abuse in LGBTQ+ relationships, cultural contexts, or non-traditional situations. 

5. Data sensitivity

Information about abuse should never be tracked or exploited. Survivors need privacy, not data stored for advertising or analytics.

Technology can be instrumental in preventing domestic abuse and raising awareness; however, it is not without its faults. Hence, we must ensure victims are protected and have a strong community of AWARERS surrounding them who can support, recognise, and intervene. 

Technology should empower survivors and raise awareness, not replace real, hands-on help.

Together, Awareness Saves Lives

Domestic abuse thrives in silence. When we give people language, tools, education, and safe places to ask questions, we break that silence.

Share the Red Flag Checker with colleagues, friends, schools, communities, and online spaces:

👉 DAfree's Red Flag Checker

And be sure to join our Skool Community, a space for crucial discussions, valuable resources and a community of AWARER’S:

👉 DAfree's Skool Community

Share your thoughts with us!

Why do you think so many people struggle to recognise the early red flags of abuse, even when they’re happening to them or someone close to them? Do you think our Red Flag Checker can help identify these red flags?

Selina

Head of Communications & Relations, DAfree

📩 dafree@dafree.org

🌍www.dafree.org

📲 +44 7301 940852

This week’s newsletter explores comparisons in legislative practices surrounding domestic abuse in two powerful and developed nations, Switzerland and the United Kingdom.

Both countries have signed the Istanbul Convention, an international treaty designed to protect women from all forms of violence and to prevent, prosecute, and eliminate domestic abuse. Yet, despite this shared commitment, both nations continue to grapple with persistent, and in some cases, rising levels of domestic abuse.

As mentioned previously, Switzerland, long regarded as one of the safest countries in the world, is now facing an alarming surge in domestic violence. In 2024 alone, police recorded 21,127 domestic offences, a 6.1% increase from the previous year (Federal Statistic Office).

Research from the Swiss Medical Weekly further reveals that one in five women will experience physical or sexual violence in her lifetime. Around 25 people die each year as a result of domestic violence, with three-quarters of victims being women (swissinfo.ch).

Since 2004, domestic violence has been treated as a public prosecution matter, allowing cases to proceed even without a victim’s complaint, which is a major step in recognising abuse as a criminal, and not a private issue.

Authorities attribute the rising numbers in violence to a combination of improved reporting and heightened awareness, as well as gaps in prevention and protection systems. 

Switzerland’s federal system creates regional inconsistencies as each canton (region) applies laws differently, leading to unequal support and delayed responses for victims while support services remain underfunded and inconsistent. In some regions, police and social services cooperate effectively, while in others, survivors face long waits or limited access to help. This decentralised system, combined with underfunded shelters and inconsistent victim support, contributes to gaps in protection, leaving many survivors without the urgent assistance they need (Swissinfo.ch,).

It’s important to note that these numbers likely represent only the tip of the iceberg, as countless victims suffer in silence, hindered by fear of social stigma.

The United Kingdom has made significant legislative progress; however, its enforcement has not translated into securing safety and reducing domestic violence. The Domestic Abuse Act (2021) broadened the legal definition of abuse to include coercive control, emotional manipulation, and economic abuse. It also recognised children as victims and created a Domestic Abuse Commissioner to monitor the nation’s response.

However, legislation doesn’t always translate into lived safety. According to the Office for National Statistics (2024):

• Around 4.8% of people aged 16 and over, equivalent to 2.3 million individuals, experienced domestic abuse in the year ending March 2024.
  
  
• Over a lifetime, 1 in 5 people report having experienced domestic abuse.

Recorded police incidents have decreased slightly from 911,248 cases in 2023 to 851,062 in 2024. While this might appear as progress, experts caution that the decline in reporting doesn’t necessarily mean fewer cases. Instead, it can reflect the persistent under-reporting and loss of trust in institutions, compounded by funding cuts to refuges, lengthy legal processes, and stigma around speaking out.

• Switzerland’s increase in reported domestic abuse may be linked to greater social awareness and improved reporting mechanisms following government campaigns and commitment to the Istanbul Convention. However, structural inconsistencies such as regional disparities and insufficient victim support continue to leave survivors vulnerable.
  
  
• The UK’s decline in reporting, on the other hand, points toward a fatigue of trust: victims often face disbelief, slow investigations, or a lack of support after reporting. Economic pressures, the cost-of-living crisis, and reduced funding for women’s services may also deter victims from coming forward.

In both nations, the statistics reveal not only violence but a deep disconnect between legal progress and lived reality.

At DAfree, we believe that awareness and empathy are global tools of prevention. Domestic abuse isn’t confined to one nation or culture it thrives and continues in silence, shame, and misunderstanding. The intricacies of preventing domestic abuse through legislation can be learned through the examples of Switzerland and the U.K. While the creation and expansion of legislation surrounding domestic abuse are essential milestones, more must be done to ensure protection and prevention, including the implementation of legislation through other forms of support and government agencies.

Laws can open the door, but awareness keeps it open, allowing individuals to rebuild safely.

Most importantly, as members of society, we each hold a power in raising awareness. Through awareness, we can protect, recognise and break toxic cycles.

What can governments, communities, and individuals do to increase reporting of domestic abuse?

 👉 Share your thoughts with us

Selina

Head of Communications & Relations, DAfree

📩 dafree@dafree.org

🌍www.dafree.org

📲 +44 7301 940852

Hello again, and thank you for joining us!

This week, we’re diving into a form of abuse that hides in plain sight, which is coercive control.

It doesn’t leave bruises, but it deeply wounds. It’s the invisible cage that keeps so many trapped, emotionally, psychologically, and financially. At DAfree, our mission is to shed light on and bring awareness to issues such as corecive control that have long been kept in the dark.

You can explore our full Coercive Control course in our community.  So please ensure you are joininh and interacting on the community to level up and gain access!

It’s a safe space to learn, reflect, and reconnect with your understanding of freedom and boundaries.

💭 What Is Coercive Control?

Coercive control is a pattern of behaviours designed to dominate and isolate another person, slowly eroding their sense of self, safety, and independence.

It’s not always loud or violent, however is often, subtle, disguised as love, concern, or protection.
But over time, it leaves a person doubting their memories, their worth, and their right to choice.

In the UK, coercive control is legally recognised under the Serious Crime Act 2015 but many still don’t know how to identify it when it’s happening. In next week’s newsletter we will touch on the timeline of the acknowledgement of coercive control across legislations and judiciary systems internationally.

⚠️ How Coercive Control Presents:

Some common signs of coercive control include:

• Isolation - cutting you off from friends, family, or support systems.
• Surveillance - checking your phone, tracking your location, or demanding passwords.
• Gaslighting - twisting reality so you doubt your own perceptions.
• Financial Control - restricting money, controlling spending, or withholding necessities.
• Emotional Manipulation - guilt-tripping, silent treatment, or constant criticism.
• Legal or Social Threats - using children, courts, or institutions to intimidate or punish.
  

These behaviours don’t happen all at once, they slowly build up, until control becomes routine.

🪞 Why It’s Hard to See

Coercive control often begins as affection.
At first, it can look like love. Someone wanting to be close, to “take care of you.” But over time, that care becomes surveillance; that love becomes control.

It’s hard to spot because:

• It happens gradually.
• Violence is not frequently imposed
• The abuser often looks charming or “perfect” to outsiders.
• Victims internalise blame. “Maybe it’s my fault.”
  

Recognising coercive control is the first step toward freedom. With recognition, follows awareness. We cannot protect and prevent if these crucial conversations do not materialise.

💔 The Impact

Living under coercive control can cause:

• Anxiety, hypervigilance, and confusion
• Depression, panic attacks, or PTSD
• Loss of identity and self-trust
• Social isolation and financial hardship
• Long-term trauma for both survivors and children, who are surrounded within environments of or experience coercive control.

💬 From the DAfree Course: A Reflection

One of our favourite reflections from the Skool classroom:

“Coercive control isn’t always about power over someone - sometimes it’s about fear of losing control. But that fear never justifies abuse.”

This week, take a moment to journal or discuss:
✨ Where in your life have you confused control with care?
✨ How can you begin to reclaim your autonomy, emotionally, financially, or mentally?

🪶 Resources & Support

At DAfree, we aim to promote the awareness of all forms of domestic abuse and it’s disguises. Feel free to message us if you feel you need any support or generally would like to discuss. Educate yourself by using our courses within Skool and ensure to connect with the community to be exposed to a range of reflections!

🕯️ Final Thought

Recognising coercive control is an act of courage. Speaking it aloud breaks the silence that abusers depend on. Healing is not instant, but every step you take toward awareness, is a step towards protection and most importantly PREVENTION.

You are defined by your decision to be DAfree. 🕊️

In kindness and solidarity,

Selina

Head of Communications & Relations, DAfree

📩 dafree@dafree.org

🌍www.dafree.org

📲 +44 7301 940852

We have decided to create a bi-weekly newsletter with the purpose of:

• Creating educational resources
• Engaging our community
• Raising awareness on sidelined issues surrounding domestic abuse

DAfree is a CIC, established to drive meaningful change in how society understands and responds to domestic abuse and coercive control. DAfree fosters a unique global online community through Skool, where survivors, allies, professionals, and advocates can connect, learn, and collaborate. This digital platform enables us to expand our reach globally, creating a secure, interactive space where individuals share resources, support one another, and develop collective strategies to break the cycle of abuse.

🕊EXPLORE OUR DAfree SKOOL COMMUNITY🕊

Our mission is to create safer, healthier, and more respectful relationships for future generations. We combine lived experiences, research, and creativity to create accessible tools and campaigns that challenge overlooked, harmful norms and behaviours of domestic abuse. 

Through education, advocacy, and collaboration, DAfree works to:

- Raise Awareness of what constitutes abuse, including coercive control, emotional manipulation, and hidden forms of violence often overlooked by society.

- Empower Survivors by amplifying their voices and ensuring they are met with

compassion, understanding, and practical support.

- Educate Communities by providing resources, courses, and workshops that highlight the patterns, risks, and long-term impacts of abuse.

- Promote Systemic Change by engaging with institutions, charities, and professionals to push for stronger policies, prevention strategies, and cultural shifts.

Why Awareness Matters

Domestic abuse isn’t always visible. Coercive control, through manipulation, isolation, and

intimidation, often goes unseen, yet it can have devastating effects. By shining a light on

these hidden forms of abuse, we help communities better understand the signs and respond

with compassion.

How To Get Involved

Change can’t happen alone. Here’s how you can support DAfree:

● 💬 Join our Skool community to connect and learn.

● 📢 Share this newsletter to raise awareness.

● 🤝 Collaborate with us - we invite charities, organisations, and individuals.

● 📲 Stay connected via WhatsApp: +44 7301 940852

Looking Ahead

Over the coming months, we’ll be sharing resources, campaigns, and opportunities to take part in workshops and community discussions. Stay tuned! We have some exciting projects in the works.

Thank you for joining us in our journey of raising awareness of domestic abuse and coercive control. From all of us at DAfree, thank you for being part of our growing community. Together, we can break the cycle of abuse and build a future grounded in safety and respect.

In kindness and solidarity,

Selina

Head of Communications & Relations, DAfree

📩 dafree@dafree.org

🌍www.dafree.org

📲 +44 7301 940852