DAfree Newsletter

Welcome to our 2026 newsletter #Issue 10

🌹 Red Flags Wrapped in Roses

Valentine’s Day and the Normalisation of Unhealthy Love

Valentine’s Day is often marketed as a celebration of love, featuring romantic gestures, grand surprises, intense emotions, and declarations of devotion. But beneath the roses and heart-shaped cards, this season can also blur the line between what is loving and what is harmful.

In popular culture, intensity is often mistaken for intimacy. Jealousy is framed as passion. Possessiveness is reframed as care. The message is subtle but persistent: love should be consuming, and all-encompassing.

For many people experiencing domestic abuse, this messaging makes it harder to recognise when something is wrong.

Checking in constantly can look like concern.
Wanting to know where someone is at all times can be justified as “worry.”
Discouraging friendships or independence can be disguised as a desire for closeness.

Around Valentine’s Day, these behaviours can be often amplified and excused. Grand gestures can mask patterns of control. Apologies wrapped in gifts can temporarily soften harm. What might otherwise feel uncomfortable or alarming is reframed as romantic effort. And often drown out smaller gestures of genuine and harmless love.

This normalisation is dangerous.

When unhealthy behaviours are repeatedly presented as signs of love, partners may doubt their instincts. They may feel ungrateful, dramatic, or disloyal for questioning actions that others celebrate. At the same time, friends, family, and bystanders may struggle to recognise warning signs because they’ve been taught to see these behaviours as proof of commitment.

Domestic abuse does not always begin with fear or violence. It often begins with intensity, attention, and emotional closeness before, in some cases, gradually shifting into control, isolation, and harm.

Valentine’s Day gives us an opportunity to pause and question the stories we’ve been told about love. To ask whether the behaviours we praise actually allow for autonomy, safety, and mutual respect. To reflect on whether love is being used to uplift or to limit.

At DAfree, awareness starts with questioning what we’ve been taught to accept.

So we leave you with this question:
How have films, social media, and traditions taught us to associate intensity with depth?

Please let us know your thoughts.

Join Our Community & Mission

For those of you who haven’t yet joined out Skool Community, we welcome you to join, where learning, connection, and conversation continue beyond the newsletter. Together, we can amplify voices, share knowledge, and support one another in becoming more awarer: Join DAfree

Awareness changes everything.

🪶 Join the conversation. Join the mission.

Selina
Head of Communications & Relations, DAfree

📩 dafree@dafree.org
🌍 www.dafree.org
📲 +44 7301 940852

Learn More

Welcome to our 2026 newsletter #Issue 9

Welcome to our 2026 newsletter #Issue 10

📹 When Control is Subtle: Coercive Power, Media, and Awareness in THE HOUSEMAID (2025)

This week, we examine how coercive control is portrayed in modern media through the 2025 psychological thriller The Housemaid, and why representations like this matter in shaping public understanding of domestic abuse.

The Housemaid does not rely on constant physical violence to communicate harm. Instead, it focuses on psychological dominance, manipulation, fear, and dependency within a domestic setting. Control is exercised quietly and incrementally through emotional pressure, blurred boundaries, isolation, and an imbalance of power that tightens over time. These are the very dynamics that often go unnoticed in real life, both by those experiencing them and by those observing from the outside.

What makes the 2025 adaptation particularly impactful is its familiarity. The environments, relationships, and social contexts feel recognisable. The abuse portrayed is not immediately obvious or extreme; it is layered, subtle, and often disguised as care, concern, or authority. This reflects the lived experiences of many survivors, who describe abuse not as a single moment of harm, but as a gradual erosion of autonomy and safety.

At DAfree, we often speak about the need to move beyond narrow definitions of domestic abuse. Coercive control rarely begins with visible violence. It starts with monitoring, restriction, emotional manipulation, or financial dependence, of which these behaviours can be minimised, rationalised, or misunderstood until the situation escalates. The Housemaid captures this progression, showing how silence, fear, and power can trap individuals long before anyone labels the behaviour as abuse. Alongside this, it highlights the difficulty of reporting such abuse, with the vulnerable partner being labelled and depicted as crazy or unfit.

The role of media in creating AWARERS

Media plays a crucial role in shaping how society understands abuse. Films like The Housemaid help create AWARERS, people who are better equipped to recognise harmful patterns, question normalised behaviour, and identify red flags in both their own lives and the lives of others. Awareness is not only about knowledge; it is about perception. When stories reflect the realities of coercive control, they challenge audiences to rethink what abuse looks like and where it can exist.

For many people, media is the first point of contact with these concepts. A film can provide language for experiences that felt confusing or isolating. It can prompt reflection, conversations, and, in some cases, early intervention. While media alone cannot prevent abuse, it can shift cultural understanding, reduce stigma, and encourage people to trust their instincts when something feels wrong.

However, this also places responsibility on storytelling. Accurate, nuanced portrayals matter. When coercive control is shown as complex and damaging rather than sensational or romanticised it contributes to a more informed and compassionate society.

At DAfree, our mission is not only to support ‘survivors’ but to build a wider community of people who are aware, informed, and willing to challenge harmful dynamics. Media that reflects the realities of abuse plays a vital role in that work.

A question for our community:

How effective do you think films like The Housemaid (2025) are in creating AWARERS and what harms can come from inaccurate portrayals?

Please let us know your thoughts.

Join Our Community & Mission

Awareness changes everything.

🪶 Join the conversation. Join the mission.

Selina
Head of Communications & Relations, DAfree

📩 dafree@dafree.org
🌍 www.dafree.org
📲 +44 7301 940852

Learn More

Welcome to our 2026 newsletter #Issue 8

📰 Changing the Story: Can Police-Led Campaigns Shift Domestic Abuse Awareness?

Across parts of the UK, though not yet on a nationally consistent basis, some police authorities have begun implementing domestic abuse awareness initiatives under the banner “Change the Story.”.These campaigns aim to challenge harmful narratives around abuse, encourage early recognition of coercive and controlling behaviours, and prompt both victims and perpetrators to reflect before harm escalates.

At its core, Change the Story seeks to reframe domestic abuse not as isolated incidents, but as patterns of behaviour that are often normalised, minimised, or misunderstood. The campaign's message typically highlights warning signs, promotes accountability, and directs individuals to support services. In theory, this represents a shift away from purely reactive policing and toward prevention and education.

Where this initiative may help

There is clear value in police forces publicly acknowledging that domestic abuse is not only physical violence, but also includes coercive control, emotional harm, financial abuse, and psychological manipulation. Campaigns like this can:

Increase public awareness of non-physical forms of abuse
Encourage earlier intervention, particularly from bystanders, friends, and family
Challenge cultural narratives that excuse or minimise abusive behaviour
Signal that abuse is taken seriously by institutions with authority

For some survivors, seeing domestic abuse discussed openly by police may validate experiences that were previously dismissed or difficult to articulate. For others, it may offer language they lacked to describe their lived experiences.

Where challenges remain

Awareness campaigns alone cannot carry the weight of systemic change. Without consistent actions combatting abuse, there is a risk that initiatives like Change the Story remain symbolic rather than transformative, causing key concerns to include:

Trust gaps between survivors and institutions
Limited reach, with campaigns often regional or short-term
Lack of survivor-led framing in public messaging
Unclear measures of impact on long-term safety and prevention

Changing the narrative around domestic abuse requires more than messaging. It requires sustained education, survivor-informed policy, accessible support services, and accountability at every level.

Why this matters

Narratives shape behaviour. When abuse is framed as rare, mutual, or provoked, it thrives in silence. When it is recognised as patterned, and preventable, intervention becomes possible. Campaigns like Change the Story can be a starting point but they must be part of a wider, coordinated commitment to prevention, protection, and justice.

At DAfree, we believe awareness must always be paired with action. Education must be ongoing. And those with lived experiences of abuse, must remain at the centre of every conversation not as case studies, but as voices shaping the future.

So the question remains: What would meaningful prevention look like if survivors, educators, and communities were placed at the centre of domestic abuse awareness, rather than relying on short-term campaigns alone?

Join Our Community & Mission

Awareness changes everything.

🪶 Join the conversation. Join the mission.

Selina
Head of Communications & Relations, DAfree

📩 dafree@dafree.org
🌍 www.dafree.org
📲 +44 7301 940852

Learn More